Saturday, April 10, 2010


By Allison Adams 04-04-10 / Submitted to The Greeneville Sun on 04-05-10

“I can explain everything.”

“Sure you can.”

“Well. To begin with it was Sunday morning. You know I don’t do Sunday mornings very well.”
“I am aware that you face certain challenges on Sunday mornings.”

“Challenges? I believe I could manage to land a man on the moon with less difficulty than it takes me to slide myself and my family into a pew.”

“Your family was in the pew on time.”

“Right. Well, technically I wasn’t late. I was just momentarily delayed.”

“Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”

“I almost didn’t make it at all, you know.”

“I know.”

“When I woke up on Sunday – plenty early, I might add – I wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Yes – I know. I’m sorry about that.”

“No problem. So – anyway – I got to thinking about the plans for the morning, and became even more distressed. You know that since it was Easter Sunday, Mahmaw and Papaw had decided to make the 90 minute drive up here so they could join us at church, and then go out for lunch afterward. It was a chance for them to visit with their precious grandchildren and celebrate Easter, too. Easter’s a big day!”

“Yes – I know!”

“Of course you do. Anyway. Mahmaw and Papaw are getting up in years. Coping with change-in-general has become harder for them. Following detailed and sometimes complicated instructions, sticking to tight schedules, all the while managing to maintain a certain degree of flexibility, is more difficult for them than it once was. Add to that their need to navigate the Papawmobile through relatively unfamiliar territory, and you have a recipe for …”

“For an adventure?”

“Not exactly the word I would choose, but I’ll go with it. I was super stressed. Thank goodness my dear husband had taken the bull by the horns and hatched The Plan.”

“The Plan?”

“Yes! It was a covert operation. We didn’t want Mahmaw and Papaw to know that their visit required some strategizing. The Plan involved my husband and at least one of our young-adult children leaving home in advance of the church service. They would intercept Mahmaw and Papaw in the Papawmobile, beneath the church carport. My husband would take over parking the Papawmobile while the designated adult-child escorted Mamaw and Papaw into the sanctuary, using the most easily accessible route – which in our church is no small task, I’m telling you.”

“I am aware.”

“Its all uphill.”

“I know the place.”

“Of course you do. So. Anyway. My husband would meet everyone in the sanctuary after he had successfully parked the Papawmobile. After the worship service, my husband would reverse the plan, and then he would drive them, and any of their precious grandchildren who happened to be involved in the general grandparental herding process, to the next destination.”

“Out to lunch?”

“I know. It seems so, but we really do have our wits about us most of the time.”

“I was referring to the next destination.”

“Oh. Right. Anyway, on Saturday night we all huddled around and listened intently as my husband reviewed The Plan with us. He had thought of everything, including omitting me from having any tangible responsibility for anyone, except myself. Sunday’s aren’t my best day, as I touched on earlier.”

“Sounds rock solid.”

“Yes. It looked really good on paper, but I guess we were so focused on making sure we got our sometimes absentminded Mahmaw and Papaw where they needed to be without major incident, that we overlooked one thing.”

“Making sure you had all of your children present and accounted for?”

“Yes. That would be the thing.”

“How long did it take you to realize you’d left your son behind at church?”

“Oh, you know … not long. We knew it the minute Mahmaw and Papaw pointed out that he was missing.”

“Absentminded Mahmaw and Papaw?”

“Did I call them absentminded?”

“Yes, you did.”

“Sorry, Lord. My mind was absent.”

“You’re forgiven.”

“In hindsight, I guess we should have had vehicle assignments.”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“I’m thankful that my son was such a good sport about it all. He called us to let us know he’d managed to hitch a ride from church with another family.”

“He’s very resourceful.”

“Let’s just say this wasn’t his first rodeo.”

“Everything turned out all right in the end, Amen?”


No comments:

Post a Comment