Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk

By Allison Adams 11-27-09, Submitted to The Greeneville Sun on 11-29-09

“Momma? Pssssst! Momma?”

“Hmmm? Wha …? Is everything all right?”

“Yeah – I was trying to fall asleep but then I remembered I needed to ask you something.”

“Now? It’s nearly midnight!”

“Yeah. All you have to do is listen. You can leave your eyes closed.”

“Shhhhh! Whisper, or you’ll wake daddy.”

“Okay. Well first, I need a dress for school tomorrow.”

“What?”

“You told me to whisper.”

“You need a dress for school tomorrow?”

“Shhhhh! Yeah – its for an English class project.”

“Please continue.”

“Me and a couple other guys came up with this great idea for a cool video about famous poets, and I said I’d play Emily Dickenson. ”

“Emily Dickenson? Why can’t you be Walt Whitman?”

“Shhhhhh! I got in on the planning a little late and Walt Whitman was already taken. Anyway, we decided to wear costumes for the video, and I think I’m gonna need to wear a dress to be convincing.”

“Convincing? What about Edgar Allen Poe?”

“We didn’t write a part for Poe, and anyway I just need to be Emily Dickenson for about 5 minutes. Do you think you’ll have a dress that will fit me?”

“Shhhhhh! Does your teacher know about this?”

“No – we’re gonna surprise her!”

“Oh – she’ll be surprised all right. Let me think … um … well, I do have a navy blue sheath that would probably look nice on you.”

“What’s a sheath?”

“It’s just a straight-lined dress – no frills. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“Oh, and how about a wig?”

“I’m fresh out of wigs. You’ll have to settle for a headscarf. With the right pair of sunglasses I can make you look just like Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis!”

“Shhhhh! You’re getting a little carried away, mom.”

“I’m getting carried away? I sure hope your GPA can sustain the consequences from your surprise class project.”

“Don’t worry, mom – thanks. Oh, and is my soccer uniform clean?”

“Now that’s more like it.”

“Is it clean, mom?”

“I don’t know, son.”

“Well, we have a scrimmage tomorrow.”

“Where is it?”

“At the soccer park – duh!”

“Shhhhh! No – I mean where is your uniform.”

“I think its in the trunk of my car.”

“Extract it in the morning and I’ll wash it first thing.”

“Uh, okay. I also need lunch money.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“I know. I looked through your purse already. You can just write a check. I dug out your checkbook - here.”

“Not a good time, son.”

“Okay then, in the morning.”

“Remind me.”

“Gosh, mom – you never remember anything.”

“I never remember anything?”

“Shhhhh! Oh, and did I tell you that my class is raising peas and carrots?”

“What on earth for?”

“The Food Bank.”

“Isn’t it too late in the year to be planting peas and carrots?”

“Canned peas and carrots, mom. Wow – you’re out of it.”

“Oh – you’re collecting cans of peas and carrots. And I’m not “out of it” – I’m half-asleep.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Nope – definitely not what you said.”

“How do you know? You’re out of it.”

“True. Help yourself to whatever you can find in the pantry.”

“Ok. Thanks. And then, did you read that note from my history teacher?”

“I skimmed it.”

“Did you sign the bottom part?”

“Not yet.”

“I have to turn it in tomorrow.”

“I’ll sign it in the morning.”

“Okay. Just don’t forget.”

“Remind me.”

“Okay.”

“Go to sleep. Goodnight, honey.”

“One more thing.”

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“Mom? Psssst! Mom! Are you still awake?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay – one more thing.”

“Shhhhh! What? What now? Do you need two-dozen homemade cupcakes for your first period class tomorrow morning? Do you have a science fair project due the day after tomorrow? Do you need me to sew a pilgrim costume before Wednesday?”

“Shhhhh! Don’t be ridiculous, mom!”

“Well … what?”

“I was just wondering if we could get a dog.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake.”

“Does that mean you’ll think about it?”

“Shhhhhh! This is not the time to have this conversation.”

“Can we talk about it in the morning?”

“Remind me.”

“Ok. Goodnight, mom.”

“Goodnight, Emily.”