The Question Mark

The Question Mark

By Allison Adams / Submitted to The Greeneville Sun on 05-16-10

Why is it so hard for a momma to get her teenaged son to tell her what’s going on in his life? Why does it seem like the more I ask, the less I know? Why can’t I ask a simple question and get a simple answer?

Me: Where have you been?

Him: Didn’t you know?

Me: Do you have any idea what time it is?

Him: Is it suppertime?

Me: Why are you late?

Him: Am I late?

Me: What have you been doing?

Him: Don’t you remember?

Me: If I remembered, why would I be asking?

Him: How should I know?

Me: You expect me to answer that?

Him: Is the Pope Catholic?

Me: What did you do at school today?

Him: What do I usually do at school every day?

Me: Why can’t you just answer the question?

Him: Why do you ask me that every day?

Me: Do you have any important things for me to read or sign?

Him: Can you be more specific?

Me: Do you have any notes from your teachers, or written announcements, or permission slips, or anything I need to read that might help me know what’s going on in your life?

Him: Do you expect me to know the answer to that off the top of my head?

Me: How are your grades?

Him: Don’t you want to be surprised?

Me: Would it be a good surprise?

Him: How do you define “good”?

Me: You know what your father and I expect of you, don’t you?

Him: Is that a rhetorical question?

Me: Is there anything I should know?

Him: Is that a trick question?

Me: Do you have a handle on your class work?

Him: Don’t I always?

Me: If I knew that, why would I ask?

Him: How should I know?

Me: Why are you so defensive?

Him: Why are you interrogating me?

Me: You call this an interrogation?

Him: Are you serious?

Me: Is there any other way to get information out of you?

Him: Is it necessary for you to always give me the third degree?

Me: Do I have any choice?

Him: Why can’t we just have a normal conversation?

Me: Will that ever be possible?

Him: Do you expect me to predict the future?

Me: Would you pass me some Tylenol?

Him: Do you have another headache?

Me: What was your first clue?

Him: Did you know 90% of all headaches are categorized as “stress headaches”?

Me: Where did you learn that?

Him: What do you think I do at school all day long?

Me: How am I supposed to know?

Am I alone?